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Self-sabotage leads to disconnection, self-limitation, and low self-worth. Can you find another way to address what's going on in your life?

Hi! I’m Jasmyne Kettwick with Relate Family Therapy in Centennial, Colorado. Today I want to go through some ways that we use self-sabotage in our daily lives. Some of the phrases and words that we use that don’t help us get to where we need to be. One of those phrases is “I shouldn’t be here anyway.” When you start thinking about being an imposter where you are, like you don’t deserve what you have, that you shouldn’t be where you are, you are self-sabotaging your progress and the gains that you’ve made. “I don’t deserve this.” That’s another way that we tell ourselves that we shouldn’t be where we are, and that we aren’t willing and able to receive the gifts that we’re getting. “They must not realize.” When we think that other people don’t recognize who we are and who we really are inside, we feel like if they find out who we are that will help them understand that we shouldn’t be getting what we have – we don’t deserve what we have. “This is too good to last forever.” This is another thing we tell ourselves when we sense that we have to get over this hump, and that we’ve been receiving gifts and feeling good about our lives for a while now, and it’s just too good to go on. “I am the only one that can do this.” When we don’t ask for help and we don’t recognize that there are other people around that can help provide what we need for in our lives, we often self-sabotage ourselves. We need to look for help from people that can help us with whatever it is that we feel like maybe we just can’t tolerate or feel like we don’t have time to do. “No one understands what I’m going through.” This is something that I hear so many times in session, but the reality is is that people often do have a say or understand what you are going through. If we are vulnerable enough to open up and listen to what other people have to say in return, we’ll see that we aren’t alone. We aren’t on an island, and that we can connect to people. “Maybe I’m not worth more than this.” Sensing that what you have is all that you deserve or that you have way more than you deserve because of something that maybe is from your past or way that you think about yourself can be a really limiting belief and self-sabotage. Recognizing that you are exactly where you need to be and the things that you’ve worked for and that you deserve are right in front of you is part of what makes us whole. Self-sabotage is a big part of our day when we don’t even realize it, and it limits how we can get where we need to be. By recognizing that you are utilizing these things, maybe you can find alternatives and new ways to address what’s going on in your life so you can recognize what you do deserve and that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
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