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What are little things you can do to make someone else feel like they are connected with you in that moment?

Hi, everybody! It’s Jasmyne with Relate Family Therapy in Centennial, Colorado. Today I want to talk about reconnecting. When we get in ruts, we often don’t have time for the people that we love. We might pay attention to them, but we’re sidetracked with other things. We’re doing stuff while we’re talking to them – we’re trying to check emails, make dinner. We’re not really making them that one-on-one priority. Children and partners feel this. That is one complaint I often get in therapy is “They just don’t listen to me.” Or, “They’re just not paying attention.” Or, “They’re not completely engaged in what I have to say.” Sometimes, when I check in with the other person, they don’t even realize that the time that they’re giving is not one the other person feels like they’re connected to them. Being able to set up some sort of parameters around that time – no phone, sitting together, talking together, being able to touch and communicate – is a great way to start reconnecting. Even if you have to set a timer for it and tell your kids, “I have ten minutes right now. During those ten minutes we’ll do whatever you want. Let’s sit on the couch and talk about it, plan…” Maybe they’ll just want to play a game. Maybe they’ll want to color with you. Maybe they’ll just want to tell you about their day. You can also try this with your partner. “I have a couple minutes to just talk to you.” “I have a couple minutes where we can just sit together.” That’s the best way to start. Reconnecting doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out date night or some big production. It can be simple. It can start in a simple way – just say, “I care about you. You’re a priority. You’re more important than the distractions around me.”
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