Hi, this is Jasmyne with Relate Family Therapy in Centennial, Colorado, and today I want to talk a little bit about overcoming your identity. We have certain things about us that we find valuable. Things that are unique to us. The way we grew up. The way we engage with people now. Our traumas. Our experiences. We want to put those things out there for other people to connect with us. Sometimes we don’t want to do it in a vulnerable way. Sometimes we just want to share, and we want them to recognize where we’ve been. But it can be a hindrance for us. If we take on too much of our identity, and if we put it into every space that we’re in and say, “I am this. I want you to understand that about me. Look what I’ve overcome. Look what I’ve been through,” we can put ourselves in a one-down place. We have to be able to separate out and create a stronger boundary around our identity. Everyone doesn’t need to know our past. It doesn’t create more value in your life if everyone understands your past. It can be part of your life and be a pyramid piece for you, and it can be something you can rely on forever as something you have, personally, overcome, but having people that are currently in your world recognize that doesn’t make you any stronger. They can see it for what it is. It’s a part of you. It’s there. Build on it. Allow your identity to grow and shift and be comfortable with the fact that they might not know all of the things that make you you. All of the traumas. All of the trials or the things you’ve overcome. It’s very valuable as part of your life, but it doesn’t have to name your current identity.
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