More than a Mother
When I was young, it was easy for people to see how my surroundings shaped my identity. I was the girl that sang and did well in school. I was the girl that had her own fashion sense, no matter what the trends said. I was the girl with a single father and a younger brother that played hockey. I was good at sports, and never missed a chance to perform. So much of my identity was easy to see. School has a way of laying that out in front of you for others to take in.
As you get older, it is harder to know what shapes you without asking directly. Lots of assumptions are made about who people really are and how they got where they are now. I have always taken offense to people that have assumed they know my story. A part of me loves to share details of my past lives, and the main players in those time periods. I also have a genuine interest in others’ paths and what roads they have chosen to follow. As a therapist, I get such a unique window into what makes up another soul. I’m given real glimpses of lives. All of the messy and beautiful parts of people are laid before me to see, validate, and process. In my day to day life, asking people how they became who they are and where they got their beliefs is a bit more of a challenge.
At this stage in the game, most look to me as a business owner and a mother. When I hear this narrative, I’ll fight back by saying there’s more than meets the eye. Yet, with so much of my time committed to those two things, most of my other pieces are in the rearview mirror. These roles bring so much to my life that I think I really am exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Sometimes looking back at how I got here, there are the hopes I had for what I would become. Those tend to inspire me yet again for a future self-some of which I believe I will realize. At the same time, there’s nothing like watching my babies find hope, joy, and their meaning wrapped up in my life as I watch theirs unfold. I am certainly more than a mother, but all of the parts that built the foundation for my role as mom don’t matter much to my kids. They flood my life with it and I happily tread water in the work and rewards of it all.
As they get older, I know they will see me as more than a mother. I hope they will be proud of all of my pieces, my stages, and the roles I have taken on in life. For now though, I’m just mom and that’s enough.