Hi, it’s Jasmyne with Relate Family Therapy in Centennial, Colorado. Clients often come into session and attempt to prophesize about what people are going to say and do in reaction to their thoughts, feelings, behaviors. Often when I ask them, “What have they done in the past?,” people don’t know. People aren’t sure what to say, and don’t think it has any relevance around their current topic. But the fact is is that past behavior is often the best predictor that we have for future behavior. If you sense that somebody has had a pattern of behavior with you in the past where they’ve felt a certain way, thought things and said things in a way that maybe you didn’t like – or maybe you did – then it’s likely that they’ll repeat that pattern. People often find out that they do repeat patterns unless they’ve moved to change or have been motivated to assess where they’re at. So if you have something you need to bring up to someone and you aren’t sure how they’ll take it, look to the past. Think about what they’ve done then, and maybe that’ll help you decide how to handle it in the future.
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