Hi, everybody! It’s Jasmyne with Relate Family Therapy in Centennial, Colorado. As a follow up to last week in talking about how things spark joy, I want to talk about today how the fear of losing things might create a system in you where you don’t want to get rid of the things you already have in your life. The fear of letting go, the fear of regretting the loss of something, is very powerful. Being able to say that, “if I keep this…” Whatever it is – a relationship, an item, something in your head – if you keep those things that, “they might be valuable to me again. I might regret losing this. I don’t want to put myself out there. I don’t want to put myself in a place where I lose something and eventually decide I want it back.” The idea that you regret that loss is stronger than letting it go in the first place, so you decide to keep it around. Whatever it might be. Your need for an item, a relationship with somebody who maybe just isn’t good for you, or something that you just sense maybe in the future you’ll use. But you haven’t used it for a long, long time. The fear of loss, the idea of regret, are very strong. Being able to sense that something doesn’t bring you joy is one thing, but getting over that fear – that ability to say, “You know what, if I do regret this loss I might be able to rebuild it in the future, or I might be able to find an alternative that works better for me,” is better than living in a state of fear and keeping and holding onto something that has no use in your life anymore.
How do we let go without fear?
Sometimes it can be difficult to let something go even if you know it doesn’t spark joy. This can be a relationship an item or even a thought in your head. It’s best if we look at those things and say it is time to let this go. When that happens there can be a fear or sense that we might need it again in the future. When that happens the fear often overwhelms the choice to let go of whatever it is that you keep that doesn’t bring happiness and contentment to your life. The therapists at Relate can help you learn to let these things go even when it’s challenging.